Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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