i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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