Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
