At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
