are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
