what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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