so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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