you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
