I am spending my child support on dildos
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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