Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
