Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
