covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
