So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She announced her abortion via fbk
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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