Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
