i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
