I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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