is your mom at the bar?
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
