I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
