Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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