i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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