My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
