I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
