I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
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