Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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