Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I just found puke in my bra..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
