Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i dont even know how to be here
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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