So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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