adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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