By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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