fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
