You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
