Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Actions speak louder than pants.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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