i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
