did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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