Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
