don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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