So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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