JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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