Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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