it was like his penis was on wheels.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
