he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
