Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Randomize
