I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
