Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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