you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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