He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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