I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
