maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just invented taco cereal.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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