just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
