What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
