Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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